12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
