We got so high we made milksteak
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
