Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
