"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
