youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I touched a dick in church today
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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