ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
