I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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