I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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