Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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