My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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