Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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