Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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