Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She announced her abortion via fbk
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I did not marry a roomba.
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