no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
