Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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