Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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