brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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