Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
