it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
