Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
