guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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