I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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