I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
