i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
