So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
