Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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