Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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