So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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