every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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