hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize