I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
