I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
