i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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