We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
