I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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