I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
