Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
is that a dick in a sweater?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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