They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
