woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
