so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.