so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.