Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

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  (208): i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy. http://tfl.nu/3jyj
  Replies (22) Good night (1701) Bad night (737)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Her name starts with A and ends with whore.

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  (706): Her name starts with A and ends with whore. http://tfl.nu/o8d5
  Replies (12) Good night (1669) Bad night (3670)
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  (760): View more from California

  Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

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  (760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!? http://tfl.nu/iolx
  Replies (39) Good night (11737) Bad night (1713)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

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  (770): it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there http://tfl.nu/89or
  Replies (36) Good night (1198) Bad night (7349)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it

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  (606): I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it http://tfl.nu/8mat
  Replies (6) Good night (2942) Bad night (1169)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"

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  (608): the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair" http://tfl.nu/0q2o
  Replies (13) Good night (1118) Bad night (4092)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?

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  (540): casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks? http://tfl.nu/0uf1
  Replies (16) Good night (2521) Bad night (1481)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.

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  (231): A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners. http://tfl.nu/ba89
  Replies (11) Good night (2427) Bad night (628)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair

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  (+31): Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair http://tfl.nu/outv
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (1173)
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  (818): View more from California

  I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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  (818): I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u http://tfl.nu/ckyh
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (389)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.

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  (615): I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn. http://tfl.nu/8jte
  Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (315)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her

  (845): View more from New York

  You mean sponsor?

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  (914): I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her (845): You mean sponsor? http://tfl.nu/42k1
  Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (552)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.

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  (308): I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault. http://tfl.nu/fi8o
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup

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  (860): Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup http://tfl.nu/9il1
  Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (195)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue

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  (614): This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue http://tfl.nu/whp1
  Replies (3) Good night (460) Bad night (326)

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