Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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