Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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