no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
