just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
