If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
