omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
