then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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