Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
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Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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