Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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