how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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