Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
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Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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