No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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