everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
