I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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