Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize