By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
