wrigley field is MILF paradise
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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