He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
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I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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