Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize