I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
