you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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