Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
